What Do You Really Want?
Let’s cut to the chase. The real reason a lot of people (not everyone, before a lady doth protest too much) are online discussing collective social/cultural issues is because it affects them in some way. There’s something fundamental lacking in their own life related to that problem.
It reminds me of the line from Dr. Zhivago – happy men don’t volunteer for war. Whether that’s true or not, happy people who’ve got what they want out of life don’t spend a huge chunk of time online talking to strangers about the world’s problems. I remember asking a political activist once if she preferred living in a state with terrible politics but close to family and friends in the same neighborhood, or a state with great politics but everyone they cared about lived elsewhere. She obviously preferred the latter.
It’s also why a lot of people suddenly vanish offline and off social media (looking at you, sunhat brigade). They got what they wanted personally and are focused on that.
I don’t say this to imply selfishness or ulterior motives are at play. It’s good to be aware that there are, in fact, problems out there. One of the biggest issues with people today is a mindset that if it isn’t your problem, it’s not anybody’s problem. It’s not even a problem.
I’ve never understood this. I’m a gym rat with an athlete’s body fat percentage, but that doesn’t preclude me from noticing the enormous amount of obese people in the world.
All of this creates confusion and misunderstanding when discussing the idea of “finding Serenity.” I’ve written before about what that means and what it requires. One is giving up on the life you had hoped to have, with all the external factors incorporated. Another is crafting a new narrative which acknowledges that reality.
However, to do that you need to know what really you want. To borrow from Firefly, Captain Reynolds accepted that the war of independence was lost, so he bought a ship and became an intergalactic smuggler.
Why? Because the ship gave him what he really wanted.
In the show’s eighth episode Reynolds reveals what it was as he introduces the ship Serenity to his old war buddy, Zoe.
“Try to see past what she is and on to what she can be.”
“And what is that?”
“Freedom. I tell you, we get a mechanic, get her up and running again. Hire a good pilot, maybe a cook, live like real people. A small crew. They must feel the need to be free, take jobs as they come. They never have to be under the heel of nobody again.”
Before, he fought to have freedom on a planet. When that wasn’t possible anymore, he created it on a ship that acted as both a source and means of obtaining independence.
Moreover, Reynolds intuitively understood that freedom by itself is an abstract concept that requires context. The freedom to do what, and how do you achieve it?
For him, it was the freedom to go where he wanted and do what he wanted, including jobs to keep the ship fueled and running. To do that he needed both a crew as well as one that shared his desire for freedom. They had to be looking for the same thing, or else they wouldn’t last long on the ship. They had to have a common mission. And while their lifestyles certainly differed (one a courtesan, another a preacher) they all shared and respected each other’s mutual private affairs.
Note also that Reynold’s vision didn’t involve changing a law, or enacting a policy. It didn’t require organizations or groups giving him approval or go along with it. What he did was realistic, achievable, and pragmatic.
A lot of people asking “what is to be done?” online or in real life tend to look outwardly and feel the need for the world to change before they themselves can do something. That is a terrible delusion.
You have to know what you really want, and that frankly comes down to a micro level.
You also need to realize that if what you want requires the world around you changing itself to fit that vision, you must go back to square one. You’re still clinging to either a past we’ll never return to or a future that will never be. Don’t ever try to fix the world in order to fix yourself.
Whatever it is you really want, make sure it’s attainable. And if in your efforts you realize it is isn’t, file it under the rest of what constituted your “dead future” and move on until you find something that is reachable.